How did you folks weather the storm last night? PHEW! The winds were howling here. (Progressively worse it seems.) I was recording a “LAME project” and later discovered I could still hear the wind outside in playback.
Once again the relentless strong wind that typically assaults the southeast side of the house compelled a quick decision as to how best protect that homemade shade cloth awning I created that took hours of hand stitched reinforced seams for the various support lines. (I swear by that 550 7 strand nylon paracord! Fantastic stuff for all sorts of projects! – Cut a small piece – remove the individual strands – they are great for sewing with a large needle. I had a post on this, guess it’s still here somewhere?)
So I’m standing in the pouring rain and howling wind with basically two options:
allow the large shade cloth I had sewn together and installed over the back deck to continue billowing and “popping” like a parachute due to the oscillating gusts and take a chance they would survive, or, quickly detach the lines from the multiple posts supporting them over the deck to stop that parachute effect which clearly had the potential of snapping off posts or breaking the “wood spacers” keeping the shade cloths fully open and, well, properly spaced.
(That was my greatest concern, because although I had taken precautions of securing the wooden slats to the cloth – if they snapped under the pressure of the billowing parachute, those broken pieces could be propelled about by the wind representing a potential for serious damage or personal injury. As is traditionally pointed out in such high velocity wind environments, it is not the speed or force of the wind that will harm you, but rather, all the debris being hurled at you! For instance, one of those 1” x 2” x 8’ shade cloth support posts, if broken, could be released and actually launched towards the great room glass slider like an arrow from that “popping parachute 550 cord bow” and could severely damage that glass door – not to mention what it could do to the dumb ass standing there in a storm scratching his head trying to figure out what to do! Lol)
I kid you not! Felt like a star “action character” in one of those old black and white Sinbad the sailor type movies depicting the high sea perils ancient mariners faced.
(Minus the chiseled six-pack stomach; glistening rippling muscles; long flowing hair….blah, blah, blah)
There I was – pitch of night in the middle of a tremendous storm with ghost like howling winds (probably caused by some pissed off witch or evil spirit of some sort – certainly not climate change – lol) desperately attempting to save my redwood decked land based ship from certain destruction by cutting loose the varied sails and yardarm rope rigging to prevent the snapping of wooden masts and support structures…..
(like a 30 year old Leland Cypress tree trunk last night!)
and the ultimate capsizing and sinking of my vessel…..
“Cut the sails!
Save the masts and ship!
Cut the sails – let ’em go!”
(Makes your heart race with the imagined excitement yeah? Lol)
OK, good plan. Just simply climb a ladder in the dark during a severe wind/rain storm with a sharp knife in hand
(no, not held securely between my clinched teeth like a pirate climbing over the side of an adversary’s ship – lol)
and stretch out my cutting arm as far as I could in order to reach the nylon cords dancing above my head – wildly flipping and flapping about in the gusty wind – rather scary in itself.
(Know how in some of the old “fright films” a situation like this takes a dark turn by mysterious evil forces?……”Stretching out as far as he could with outreached arm, the razor sharp knife trembled in hand as the wind wildly whipped and snapped a loose end of 550 7 strand rot resistant Desert Storm (fantastic inventory of colors and combinations) nylon paracord (Paracordplanet) – which inexplicably wrapped around the knife handle in his out stretched hand snapping it away from him and whipping and slashing the now wind controlled air born razor by a wet nylon cord like a possessed flying demon slashing, cutting, nicking bone and ….YIKES! Knew I had a restless night, but, phew. Anyway, a bit scary up a ladder at night, in a storm, high winds, with a sharp knife……blah, blah, blah)
ANYWAY, exercising extreme caution I successfully eliminated the “parachute effect” without injury or further risk of property damage. Sure was some mess though.
(Used a knife to cut the support 550 lines because due to their being wet and knots pulled tight under tension of the wind there was no way to untie them safely while standing on a wet ladder.)
No biggie considering the other possibilities. Certainly much easier dealing with storm debris clean up than having to extricate oneself from being impaled by a 1”x2”x 8’ shade cloth support post. (Or a loose end of 550 paracord wrapping itself around my neck in an evil “spirit wind” and while fighting the ever increasing tightening hold of the garotte around my neck…slip and fall off the deck with the other end of the cord becoming entangled and essentially hangi…….YIKES! Oh, remember why I didn’t sleep too well, howling wind, worry, and too many Jalapenos and chips last night.)
My best to you and yours, Lew
PS: Well, a cursory inspection revealed three leaning Cypress trees and one with a trunk completely snapped off a couple of feet off the ground. That will be a challenge in removal because I’ll need the assistance of an extension ladder to reach branches “wind tangled” in the canopy. This loss was right next to the one that fell during a storm a few years ago damaging a garden shed roof. (The shed actually kept it from going all the way down to the ground.)
That row of trees reminds me of a smile that incrementally looses another tooth (figure the space made available by the missing tree permits more wind to enter and essentially work on the next loose tooth a little harder! Formula: Rocky shallow rooted trees + water saturated ground + strong winds = Lumberjack Lew) Rather depressing after almost thirty years of raising and caring for these trees, but I must strive to be positive…(right?) ..maybe that old expression of “growth through destruction” will apply? You know, … not realizing and appreciating concealed “positive aspects” of what certainly appears to be just a total loss right now?
Hey! At least I don’t have a giant splinter sticking out of my bod! Or lacerations from a wind controlled flying knife! Or a ……
(BELOW)
Suddenly Liz and I make eye contact with the same obvious unspoken thought (she speaks too you know):
“Hear that?”
(Darn dog forgot to remind me to take the potted plants out of the outdoor casement windows again)
(Below) “Now where did I leave that little piece of blue tarp?”
(BELOW) “LOOKS TERRIBLE, BUT SMELLS GREAT”
(aka, goodbye to another Leland Cypress)
(JUST LIKE THE MAST ON SINBAD’S VESSEL!)
(BELOW)
“PERHAPS THE HENS JUST REDECORATED?”
My best to you and yours, Lew