A KID IS SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK CURB STIRRING A BUCKET OF SHIT.

A CURIOUS MARIPOSA COUNTY FIREMAN WALKS OVER AND ASKS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

KID, WITHOUT LOOKING UP SAYS, STIRRING A BUCKET OF SHIT

THE FIREMAN ASKS FOR WHAT?

THE KID SAYS I’M GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING

FIREMAN: WHAT THE HELL CAN YOU MAKE WITH A BUCKET OF SHIT

THE KID LOOKS UP RECOGNIZES THE UNIFORM AND SAYS I’M GOING TO MAKE A NOSY LYING MARIPOSA CO FIREMAN

OUTRAGED THE FIREMAN SEES A MARIPOSA CO SHERIFF PATROL VEHICLE DOWN THE STREET AND WAVES HIM OVER AND EXPLAINS THE SITUATION

THE DEPUTY WALKS OVER AND ASKS: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

KID SAYS: STIRRING A BUCKET OF SHIT

DEPUTY: AND WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO WITH THAT BUCKET OF SHIT

KID LOOKS UP AND SEES THAT IT IS A DEPUTY SHERIFF THIS TIME AND SAYS

I’M GOING TO MAKE, I’M GOING TO MAKE, I’M GOING TO MAKE A NOSY LYING MARIPOSA CO FIREMAN

THE DEPUTY STARTS LAUGHING LOUDLY AND SAYS, I THOUGHT SO YOU DON’T HAVE ENOUGH GUTS TO SAY DEPUTY SHERIFF

KID LOOKS UP AND SAYS: NO, I JUST DON’T HAVE ENOUGH SHIT

There is another fact regarding this “wellness check” gone wrong that I am compelled to explain and share.

GETTING ON THE ROAD

On August 11^th, 2024, a little after 0100hrs Sunday morning we (with Liz my 10 year old long hair GSD -German Shepherd Dog) were starting our 10^th trip to the Nevada high desert. The trailer is usually parked at a slight angle in the driveway in front of the garage to facilitate easier loading and unloading. Unfortunately, even at that slight angle (to permit passing the rig when truck not hitched), has proven to be quite tricky and on this particular morning I hit the left fence gate post (I think) with the rear right trailer brake light assembly while backing out towards the street.

CAN’T SEE MY REAR!

Backing up with a 16’ trailer is difficult enough for me, but uphill when I couldn’t even see the rear of the trailer in relation to the posts (without side mirror glances) is a big pain in the….. neck and shoulders, in addition to the ASS! Lol Didn’t take much time to get squared away and on the road for the 430 mile drive that usually takes between 8-1/2 to 9 hours.

PLEASE BE QUIET! I’M DOING THE DEPARTURE CHECK LIST

While driving I perform a little LAST CHANCE TO TURN AROUND CHECK LIST in my head with two of the last items being: setting the house alarm and closing the big garage door. I realized just before Waterford I couldn’t precisely remember closing the garage door and considering the difficulty in backing uphill with the trailer and having that little accident with the fence post, wondered….. was the garage door indeed closed?

ANNOYING LITTLE VOICE OFTEN CORRECT

I lightly hit the brakes and started to slow the rig down looking for a good turn around spot….. “naw, I’m sure it was closed – I would have noticed”, and resumed pressing the accelerator. ‘Are you sure – absolutely positive it was closed?” (Don’t you hate that nagging inner voice that’s always right?) …… slowing down with the brakes again…. “Pretty sure…I mean, I would have noticed while locking the main gate” …..back on the accelerator….… then that pain in the ass internal voice whispered like creepy Joe: “Maybe you were distracted with the fender bender and forgot to close it, but if you want to spend the entire trip second guessing whether or not it was indeed closed and secure, go ahead be my guest.”

LITTLE FUCKER!

Slowed, turned around at the first available spot and headed back to Lake Don Pedro. What did I find? Garage door was wide open. I mean to the top of the header which I never open to that point which indicated something impeded the normal closing causing it to open to the fullest extent or something activated the motor.. Little fucker was right. Hit the remote, watched as the door closed all the way to the floor and stopped, and was thankful I listened to that little smart ass voice residing deep in the gray matter. Resumed the trip happy that I had made the right choice in turning back.

OCTOBER 20^th 2024 RETURN HOME

When I saw the garage door wide open I was extremely perplexed, what the hell happened? Approaching the main gate I saw a white Mariposa County Sheriff business card stuck on top of the anti-theft lock sleeve. On the back was hand written:

“Stopped by for a welfare check. Cut the chain on the gate facing Espuela. Your garage door was unlocked so I locked it before leaving”

Walking into the garage everything look fine but my kitchen/garage door was locked and I couldn’t open it to go in to the kitchen. (Something I will never do again is occasionally leaving that door unlocked for convenience when coming back with groceries and such incorrectly believing the closed roll up garage door, cameras, audible burglar alarm and over 13 years of peace should be enough security.)

I looked at the Deputy’s card again “….garage door was unlocked so I locked it before leaving”

Had I misunderstood the card’s message walking up to the house believing the deputy had closed the roll up door before leaving….and somehow it had opened again? Thought to myself, OK, there is a problem with the garage door outside stationary controller, car remote or the motor itself.

(Have heard it is extremely unlikely, but sometimes another remote can activate another similar system. I do know that someone in this area has a remote that controls one of my ceiling fans sometimes. I’ll be watching TV and all of a sudden the fan will either come on or go off (never the lights-just the fan). I would imagine I’ve probably done the same thing to the other fan users some where. Also people have been known to drive off with another vehicle believing it to be theirs with an ignition key that indeed was the same as the other vehicle. Extremely rare, but it does happen.)

At 1047hrs

I put the key in the door lock (I do lock it sometimes) and opened the door but entering the kitchen (there was no “beep beep beep” count down before the alarm went off) so I approached the alarm control pad to check the status but it had a blank screen and apparently no power.

“Fucking PG&E power outages!” I mumbled to myself as similar things have happened in the past. They kill the power and backup batteries could eventually deplete and alarm monitor goes out. Looked up at the electric stove LED and it was also flashing a power loss code.

When the house alarm went off (1047 hrs) while I was unloading the truck/trailer and bringing stuff in the house it actually scared the heck out of me (lol) so I went through the process of getting that all squared away and everything appeared it was going to be fine. I was still honestly appreciative for what I understood at the time and actually thrilled with the prospect this was like an Olive Branch from the Sheriff’s Office in putting past differences behind us and they actually did me a favor! so at 1109 hrs 22 minutes after arriving home I sent the following email to the Deputy’s email address on the card:

Thank you – thank you – so much!  When did this occur?  You know, when I first left in August, I was almost to Waterford but couldn’t remember closing the large roll up garage door so I returned and sure enough it was open.  Closed it with the remote and re-started the trip.  Not sure what happened this second time.  Would appreciate a call  at your convenience.  Again, thank you!  Lew

October 20^th, 2024 1109hrs

Not receiving a response by Tuesday I called the Mariposa County Sheriff’s Office and briefly explained the situation but was told the Deputy was off duty and would be backer by Wednesday and would probably notify me then. OK, thanks.

On Friday still not hearing anything I called the Mariposa County dispatch and tried to explain what was going on – but received a completely different response from the dispatcher who seemed uncooperative and wanted to pick a verbal fight.

You see, I normally talk loud anyway, I’m not mad just talk loud (maybe from all the gun range shooting I don’t know), but when this dispatcher told me the deputy was off duty, I tried to explain that I had been told twice already that the Deputy was off duty but before I had finished the dispatcher sternly said “DON’T GET MAD AT ME”, I laughed and said I’m not mad but I’ve been told – she cut me off as I recall to say it was my volume or tone of voice …..

At that very moment, although I still had many unanswered questions about what had happened at my home on October 4^th, and wasn’t mad when I called dispatch I was just frustrated with an apparent run around…. I now knew SOMETHING WAS WRONG – VERY WRONG and told her something like never mind I’ll call the sheriff or under sheriff and hung up. NOW I was beginning to get real concern about what was really going on with this incident.

(I honestly believe that dispatcher was purposefully trying to get me to say something on that recorded line that would be inappropriate and could be used against me (WHAT ?) — I felt like she was trying to hide something, but without a transcript or audio recording to go over like they have, it’s just memory, and my memory was she was uncooperative and defensive about something but I didn’t know what.

Why would I be getting the run around for wanting more information about a matter I had already emailed the responsible deputy that I was appreciative?

Called the number for the Sheriff/Under sheriff and administration personnel but lost the connection somehow while waiting for them to pick up. Tried again (you know the phone listing hell), spoke with a nice woman and explained the situation, she said she would put me through to the Captain, rang,rang…. Message machine….left the message. Spoke with the Captain later, nice conversation and I told him that I felt something was actually wrong after the dispatcher accused me of being mad. I laughed and told him I wasn’t mad before but only frustrated that I couldn’t get answers to pertinent questions. I told him I was pleased with how the deputy removed the chain without cutting the lock itself, but he could have left the card somewhere else where people on the street could read it and know my property was unsecured. I told him about the alarm going off and scaring me, and was charging the batteries to get it back on line, he was cordial and all that, but I had the feeling he new more than he was relaying.

I told him I didn’t even know when this occurred and he told me October 4^th 2024. I asked if the check was made from my calling the SO for a house check or what. He said my postal carrier requested a well fare check because of the circumstances of the mail not being picked up and the garage door being opened. I explained my position on both. Told him my postal carriers are all aware of my extended trips to Nevada because even though I purchased a very large locking mailbox, it still gets full with mail. I said she was a sweetheart and very much aware of my traveling situation. I told him my truck and trailer were usually in front of the garage, my dog was with me in Nevada…. I told him things were not making sense. He said he wouldn’t want to comment on anything without speaking to the deputy involved, I apologized and agreed that I wasn’t trying to put him in a bad situation but that was precisely why I was getting frustrated and concerned because the deputy hadn’t contacted me in the last five days. The Captain said he would check into the matter.

After talking with the Captain, a horrible feeling started in my stomach but was connected to my brain which had been churning on this since I came home and saw the garage door open. That horrible connection between my brain and stomach was VERY FUCKING FAMILIAR…..I WAS BEING DECEIVED AGAIN BY PEOPLE WHO WERE CONCEALING IMPORTANT FACTS AS TO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AT MY HOME WHILE I WAS OUT OF STATE.

FLASHBACK TO MERCED PROBLEM

Back in 1986 I also spoke with a Captain at the Merced Sheriff’s Office who told me he understood my situation and was investigating my allegations but I had to give him enough time to clear things up and to remain at my house for a few more hours while he got things taken care of for me. My Father was still alive and present when that call came in and was leaning over listening to the conversation.

When I hung up from talking with the Captain, I looked at my Father and said “HE IS LYING TO ME AND I DO NOT TRUST HIM”. I called an attorney and followed his advice and would not have been granted a service connected disability retirement from law enforcement had I waited for the captain’s proclaimed “help is on the way” talk.

What was that captain really doing when he asked me to wait at home while he helped clear my name so I could return to work? Assisting County Counsel prepare an immediate termination of employment letter. There is so so so much more to all of that past stuff, and I’m digressing and upsetting myself again already. You see, that sort of painful shit never leaves your heart or mind, you just try to ignore it and move on, but when something similar happens……

You know, they fired me for doing exactly what I was supposed to do – enforce the law, but if you enforce it against a friend of the THEN sheriff, you had big serious problems.

There are so many things they did to me in order to cover up and conceal what they had and were doing in Merced. I even had a lieutenant tell me confidentially they were hoping to put enough stress on me that I would commit suicide. Had them before.

Easy to say, but when those criminal law enforcement officers had things printed in the paper about me they claimed were true that had ALREADY BEEN PROVEN FALSE the questioning of whether I might be better off dead was a reoccurring argument with myself for a long time. Should I just be done with this? I know I’m right, but the pain was getting to the point that almost anything would be better, even hurting my Mom, Dad, brother……maybe briefly just to get away from the constant pain, might be better for them to not watching me suffer? Yeah, maybe it would be better for them too if I just ended everything?

The county painted me as a bad officer and the reason for the illegal termination of my job and violation of my Peace officer bill or rights….my US Constitutional Rights, they didn’t care, they just wanted me gone and if I would do it myself….PERFECT FOR THEM.

When I did file for retirement the county then tried everything they could to stop that by saying I was a fine, intelligent hard working officer who could still do the job and should return to work.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME?

So, even though it is not a lot, that honorable service connected disability retirement has assisted greatly in my (our -that suffering child inside) decision to stay in this world as a living breathing, thinking, caring……. creation of God, and the longer I stay, the more they will pay for a retirement that should never have been required in the first place if they obeyed the laws they were supposed to be enforcing.

They hit and attacked me unscrupulously with everything in their government positions of power would permit, and believe me, a county sheriff has a lot of authority.

First administrative hearing – I WON. County Supervisors – lost (some were badge carrying special deputies of the then sheriff) Superior Court – visiting judge (all Merced County Judges voluntarily disqualified themselves) – I WON! Then the sheriff appealed to the California State Appellate Court – I WON! But the sheriff wanted to appeal to the state supreme court but eventually retired under a 21 count accusation by the County Grand Jury. Gosh, I could sit here for several hours going over this which might explain why it is difficult to talk with some folks. Lol

So what was I doing during all this? Hanging on to a roller coaster ride that is truly hard to even imagine for anyone unless they had been there on the ride. I still feel like it was another person’s life that I look back on, and I guess in some ways that is true as that personality is dead and gone, and all I have now is what’s left and what I can augment too it in the future.

Check it out…..those bad actors did EVERYTHING THEY COULD TO COMPLETELY DESTROY ME AND MY LIFE but failed – when the truth finally made it into court and guilty parties causing the trouble were no longer in control. But there’s another court, another judgment we will all face one day, for those of you trapped right now and feel there’s no way out, hold on, there is.

Although only a minuscule amount as compared to WHAT OUR TRUE PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP as suffered, I know very well what it is like to have weaponized government wrongly used against you. It’s a process without feeling, sympathy, concern, or fear – it’s like a massive mechanical monster but operated by people, and if the wrong people are in control that monster can be unleashed on innocent citizens to punish, control or completely erase. TRUMP WOULD UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW AND WHY. I WANT A PRESIDENT WHO KNOWS THE DANGERS OF ALLOWING OUR COUNTRY TO BE RUN BY EVIL DOERS.

And for those who couldn’t hold on against such evil attacks by spineless cowards, liars and cheats, well, I understand why because I almost joined them. I only pray it worked for them somehow, and that GOD UNDERSTOOD. Unfortunately, if an honest good person did collapse under the weight of evil those evil responsibles will only use that suicide as evidence they (the bad guys) were really the good guys….”see, they killed themselves because of the guilt” over their crime, when in actuality they were innocent people that just couldn’t withstand the pain these FUCKING MONSTERS IN GOVERNMENT PUT ON THEM ONLY TO CONCEAL THEIR OWN MISDEEDS!

OK, that’s it for now, I’ve got a headache now – lol

My best to you and yours, Lew

PS: Sorry about the blah blah blah and major diversions from the point – which was that after talking with the Captain and feeling that sickening feeling developing between my brain and stomach (about the previous captain just wanting me to wait at home while being set up with an immediate termination letter), my priority became to get my systems back on line and figure out what happened. (aka last photos posted) I am still learning some details but sick and tired of being deceived and lied to by people who only want to cover up truth to “protect the county”. Really? The county is not a living breathing human being with feelings but something created to serve citizens with feelings and make their lives better. Something, or someone, sure needs to straighten you folks out because for all the hard work I’ve been doing for the last 3-1/2 years to save what I have left for a happy life ending, you’ve thrown me into another ugly prison with next year’s date being 1987. God have mercy on you for what you do to innocent people.

People who can not obey the law themselves certainly should not be enforcing it against others.

Numb.

After all the screaming, cussing, swearing, and yes, even crying, this blender like cycling of emotions inevitably leaves me exhausted, cold (temperature wise) and emotionally numb. Not angry. Not necessarily sad or depressed just numb and going through the ashes of an emotional fire, that once again, temporarily ravished my life. Ahhhhh, and that’s key…. T E M P O R A R I L Y.

Way too many people fail to see this during crisis and make the long term decision of suicide for a short term temporary situation – and that’s another terrifying aspect of this, expecting even more pain to follow rather than relief because of the cycle. During the triggering crisis or trauma, when something might suggest relief…. they fail to see that the “light at the end of the tunnel” IS THEIR ESCAPE FROM THE DARKNESS AND INTO THE LIGHT and is rapidly approaching but have been so negatively conditioned to expect the worst, believe the light at the end of the tunnel is only another approaching train hauling pain and discomfort – so they stop that (with what they feel at the time is their only option for escape) with suicide.

SOUNDS GOOD

Have never been much of a bath person, prefer a hot shower, but lately have taken more hot baths than I have in the last few years. I can understand the medicinal benefits, (relaxing sore muscles, tendons, ligaments, etc.) but is there an emotional – psychological component also?

Enveloped in a comfortable, secure and soothing clear fluid environment with the body’s core temperature constantly maintained. Wonder if it touches some deep and UN-rememorible experience of our first temporary home…… being in the womb prior to birth?

FOUND THEM! Between the bed blanket and sheet and I CAN SEE CLEARLY AGAIN!

Lol reminds me of that song remember….? Johnny Nash? That up lifting thought of all negative things clearing away?

I can see clearly now the rain is gone

I can see all obstacles in my way

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind

It’s gonna be a bright (bright)

Bright (bright) sunshiny day

It’s gonna be a bright (bright)

Bright (bright) sunshiny day

Maybe make this a door chime? lol

Better yet one of those “pull to activate” FIRE ALARMS but instead of a blaring fire alarm the sound system would blast “I can see clearly now” by Johnny Nash. lol

Guess I need to purchase a copy since it might be a positive break (and potential brake) to this unpleasant emotional roller coaster. I know from experience there will be an eventual end to the outrage, anger, depression, angst and unhappiness, etc. but unfortunately, will be triggered again by something I deeply believe is a clear wrong against me personally by the government. What good is our Constitution, Bill Of Rights and Rule of Law if “THE RULERS DON’T OBEY THE VERY LAW THEY ENFORCE ON CITIZENS?”

Heck, this song could be an enjoyable “WELCOME BACK” tune to accompany, maybe even facilitate, that anticipated healing process?

Yeah, a pulled fire alarm that plays Johnny Nash, I like it.

Please realize, if it were true that I was as dangerous an individual as these unscrupulous bully liars have said out loud for others to hear and whisper in this community for decades, (most of them democrats anyway) well, let’s just say they wouldn’t be here to continue such slander, libel and just plain ugly behavior, because I would have eliminated those sources of my righteous anger and pain long ago.

But I am not, so they are permitted to continue doing the same crap over and over – no doubt to many others as well.

BUT now, illegally searching my home (while away attempting to salvage what I have left of my life as a senior citizen) with their weapons drawn under the guise they were only breaking into my home to check on my well being? Thanks, but please don’t bother yourselves with such activity again, unless you wait until you can’t see through the window glass because of the flies!

Perhaps later, going back to the womb room for a soak! lol

My best to you and yours, Lew

I TRIED THREE TIMES CUTTING DOWN THE SIZE OF THE VIDEO, BUT STILL TOO LARGE, SO I GUESS THESE STILL FRAMES ARE JUST TEASERS. GUESS I BETTER GET SOME RELEASE OF LIABILITY FORMS IF SOMEONE SPENDS THE NIGHT?

MY BEST TO YOU AND YOURS, LEW

Don’t suppose any of you could tell me where I left my reading glasses last night/this morning? lol Can’t find the suckers, so I’m using an old prescription with foggy scratched lenses – but HEY! At least I can see a bit. So, I guess I’m PACK RAT PROUD once again. lol

Think I might have actually snagged a few hours of sleep (although a lot of twisting, turning, rolling around in bed (no not the good kind) quite exhausted but couldn’t sleep very well with the constant barrage in recalling what they have done to me and the many years of suppressing legitimate anger, resentment and distrust…..

only to have it reignited…

with some pretty suspicious activity under the guise they care for my well being. Sorry, with everything they’ve done to me for the last 24 years already, well, they are being totally dishonest – with themselves if nothing else.

Actually it is far worse than that because I can generally take pretty good care of myself, but it’s extremely difficult if not impossible to resist the unethical attacks by unscrupulous paid “public servants” who do not follow the law or common courtesy for that matter. Simple as that, they are the criminals and only SHEEPLE IN UNIFORMS without integrity….baaaa baaaa bad.

$$$$$$

The really reprehensible aspect of all this is: we pay more and more and more in taxes only to have our rights further restricted, compromised, completely ignored and of course, eventually abolished. Bye bye the United States of America and welcome to routine home invasions of ANYONE complaining about “criminal activity”, because after all, it would no longer be criminal in their new system. The only criminals would be those who remembered the difference and had the courage or audacity to say or write so others might understand what has happened to their COUNTRY.

I have always supported law enforcement and even now, if I saw an officer in peril I would instinctively try to assist them in any way I could because there must be respect for law and order, however, respect must also be earned AND RE-EARNED WHEN LOST DUE TO SUBSTANDARD PERFORMANCE.

WHAT?

Yup, I would because this is OUR COUNTRY and without Rule of Law we are finished. Hell, we might be finished already and in the death throws of a country so torn apart by corruption, crime, invasion,….etc. That coming back may be impossible. I don’t want to believe that but this recent episode of foolishness by those charged with OUR PROTECTION has thrown my perspective all the way back to December 13, 1986 and the ORIGINAL BASE TRAUMA THAT HAS PUT ME ON A PAINFUL COURSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE – primarily because they ALL GOT AWAY WITH THEIR CRIMES without accountability!

Bathtub maybe? Nope. Where are those &^%$#(@ glasses?

So a cash settlement and meager retirement is compensation for decades of pain and suffering because those people have no conscience or integrity, they can harm and seriously injure (or even murder) others with total impunity because when busted for their evil doings cash is merely thrown at the victim (or their surviving family members) as though the victim’s injuries, continued pain and suffering are just magically erased and everything goes back, and is reset to normal. What is that normalcy? The next victim who requires some punishment for disrespecting those uniformed antagonists? WHO PAYS FOR THIS NONSENSE? THE PUBLIC!

MAYBE THOSE COUNTY EMPLOYEES WERE RIGHT – JUST MOVE

So I developed a new course for myself, one in which I might rediscover the peace and tranquility I once had here and it was actually working out quite well – because I was very happy and content during the last 3-1/2 years on that alluvial fan. Not to say it hasn’t been the hardest work I’ve ever done and quite challenging with the dramatic weather patterns, but I enjoy that pure challenge.

Some of my Prong Horn Antelope “Fan Friends” stopping by to graze and listen to music. A couple of times other herds joined the concert…..over 20 of the beautiful creatures! (Wait until they hear what the creatures here have done to me ……. AGAIN! Whether calculated/intentional or simply poor law enforcement policy, I am obviously hyper-sensitive to the violation of my Fourth Amendment rights (well established 25 years ago) and the increasing possibility this was not a mistake but an “opportunistic way” to pay me back for exposing what they have, and very well, maybe doing again – harassment – I’m really trying but…..this recent incident “DOES NOT COMPUTE!” based on a reasonable evaluation of the circumstances known thus far.)

Things were OK here until for no apparent reasonable explanation the sheriff’s office once again decided to forcibly enter my property (while I was away) and enter my house —– just to make sure I was OK and didn’t need assistance.

Had I been home, the possibility exists that I might be dead now.

CRAP! Here we go again……heart pounding — resentment — disgust —- frustration —- etc. absolutely unacceptable even under the most rudimentary form of a fair criminal justice system that claims to be sincerely concerned for the welfare and protection of their country’s citizens.

(lol – their flimsy excuse is to ascertain that the individual is safe and requires no assistance yet the very assistance sent to the home only destroys what peace and wellness existed prior to their (perhaps) “well intention-ed”’ surprise visit. Bullshit. Just can’t reach that conclusion in light of their outrageous activity of the past. (Again, yes, I admit to being hypersensitive to such activity….stop and think….frightening.)

SURPRISE! (owner sleeping on couch)

Officer: ARE YOU OK? HEY CALM DOWN SIR! I’M ONLY HERE TO HELP YOU….. SIT DOWN!! STAND BACK SIR – NOW CALM DOWN SIR……POW!

DISPATCH, PROBLEM HAS BEEN NEUTRALIZED. NEED A WAGON FOR THE BODY, FILE UNDER COMMUNITY CARE DOCTRINE, I’LL BE CODE 7 AT THE PIZZA SHOP.

WHY DID THAT JUDGE REFUSE A CONTINUATION FOR ME TO OBTAIN A CERTIFIED COPY OF THE SHERIFF’S UNBELIEVABLE DISPLAY OF INCOMPETENCE AND INTENTIONAL VICTIMIZATION OF A CITIZEN?

BECAUSE I WAS ABSOLUTELY CORRECT AND TO DO SO (show the public what REALLY HAPPENED and what they ACTUALLY DID) MIGHT TARNISH OR COMPLETELY COMPROMISE THEIR SHAKY FACADE OF A FAIR AND JUST LEGAL SYSTEM THAT PROTECTS THE INNOCENT CITIZEN IN MARIPOSA COUNTY. (REGARDLESS IF AN ANGRY BIG MOUTH BLOGGER OR NOT)

IF YOU CAN’T FORCE THEM OUT (MAKE THEM SO UNHAPPY THEY VOLUNTARILY MOVE -USUALLY AT A FINANCIAL LOSS SO OTHER CHEATS IN REAL ESTATE INDUSTRY CAN MAKE A BUNDLE FROM YOUR FORCED RETREAT) OF YOUR JURISDICTION THROUGH CLASSICAL INTIMIDATION, HARASSMENT, SLANDER, LIBEL, ETC. MUCH EASIER AND LESS EXPENSIVE TO JUST SILENCE ANY COMPLAINING VICTIM ANYWAY POSSIBLE. GEE, YET ANOTHER SUICIDE BY COP HOW SAD AND UNFORTUNATE. BULLSHIT! DON’T BUY IT, NEVER WILL.

DON’T LIKE IT MOVE! WELL, I’VE CERTAINLY BEEN CONSIDERING IT, THANKS FOR THE SINCERE ASSISTANCE THOUGH.

IT WORKED FOR A WHILE. I WAS FOCUSED ON IMPROVING WHAT WAS LEFT OF MY LIFE AND HAVE BEEN WORKING EXTREMELY HARD (LOST 50lbs) AT THE PROSPECT OF LEAVING THE ONLY “HOME STATE” EVER HAD – but I love my home, well, I use to UNTIL THEY INTENTIONALLY PROVOKED ME AGAIN TO START ANOTHER FIGHT AND DESTROYED THE SECURITY AND SAFETY I THOUGHT I HAD HERE.

THIS MORNING AT 0630HRS SAW A FLASHING YELLOW EMERGENCY LIGHT ON VILLARREAL DRIVE. DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS….. INNOCENT NO DOUBT, BUT IN THE BACK OF MY INCREASINGLY CONCERNED GRAY MATTER…… WHAT IF THEY ARE STAGING AGAIN FOR ANOTHER ASSAULT? NAWW,, CALM DOWN LEW.

ALTHOUGH IT STILL BOTHERED ME WHAT THEY HAD DONE, I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. TIME WAS RUNNING OUT – I’M OLD BUT COULD STILL REMEMBER YOUNG.

THEY JUST COULDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE!

THEY HAD TO POKE AND PROD IN AN

EFFORT TO “RATTLE MY CAGE” ONCE

AGAIN TO SEE WHAT MIGHT

HAPPEN….. BUT OF COURSE, THEY ALREADY

KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WOULD HAPPEN –

I’D BE SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF AGAIN!

OR EVEN BETTER (FOR THESE COWARDS AND CHEATS),

TO MANUFACTURE THE “LEGAL

OPPORTUNITY” TO PAY ME BACK FOR

INCONVENIENCING THEIR WRONGFUL

CONTROL OF OTHERS BEFORE I MANAGED

TO LEAVE THIS NIGHTMARE OF INJUSTICE

AND FIND HAPPINESS SOME WHERE ELSE

TO LIVE WHAT IS LEFT OF THIS LIFE

ALONE AND AWAY FROM SUCH EVIL,

DUPLICITOUS FAILURES AS LEGITIMATE

PUBIC SERVANTS.

AGAIN, THEY INTERRUPTED AND

DESTROYED MY PLANS FOR ISOLATED

HAPPINESS.

LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL? HA!

SO, GUESS THE CRIME BUSINESS IS SO SLOW NOW THEY MUST GO OUT AND MANUFACTURE PROBLEMS TO SOLVE? (GOOD FOR THE CLEARANCE RATE OF CASES)

HERE’S AN IDEA….WHY NOT PICK ON SOMEONE WITH A HISTORY OF BEING A LOUD MOUTH?

SOMEONE THEY HAD ALREADY SET UP ONCE BEFORE 24 YEARS AGO, BUT WERE UNABLE TO FINISH THE JOB WITH A TRADITIONAL GOOD ‘OL ASS WHIPPING FOR OBSTRUCTION OF A PEACE OFFICER BECAUSE THAT SMART ASS MANAGED TO REDIRECTED THE INVESTIGATION BACK TOWARDS THEM!

WELFARE CHECK OR ROUND TWO?

WHY TWO OFFICERS FOR A WELLNESS CHECK?

OFFICER SAFETY? WERE THEY READY TO START ROUND TWO NOW THAT SUFFICIENT TIME HAD APPARENTLY PASSED FROM THE FIRST INTENTIONAL VIOLATION OF MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS AS A US CITIZEN MINDING THEIR BUSINESS ON THEIR OWN PROPERTY?

THAT COMMUNITY CARE DOCTRINE IS INHERENTLY DANGEROUS ANYWAY, I MEAN, GOING INTO SOMEONE’S HOME WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION OR AGREEMENT. INNOCENT PEOPLE HAVE BEEN KILLED IN THEIR OWN FUCKING HOMES BECAUSE THEY WERE LEGITIMATELY OUTRAGED AT THE UNEXPECTED INTRUSION INTO “THEIR CASTLE”!

HUMMMM, IS IT REASONABLE TO BELIEVE THOSE OFFICERS HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHO I WAS? OR THAT THE SAME PROPERTY HAD BEEN THE SCENE OF AN EMBARRASSING MULTI COUNTY OPERATION TO ARREST AN ALLEGED VIOLENT INDIVIDUAL WHO HAD APPARENTLY HELD OFF COUNTLESS FIRETRUCKS AND EMERGENCY LAW ENFORCEMENT VEHICLES AND PERSONNEL WITH A SHEATHED 6″ FIXED BLADE BUCK KNIFE HANGING FROM A BELT SUPPORTED WITH A WIDE BANDS OF RAINBOW SUSPENDERS WHILE STANDING (VERY PAINFULLY STANDING FOR SEVERAL HOURS I MIGHT ADD) INSIDE HIS OWN LOCKED 6’ HIGH CHAIN LINK FENCE – MY GOD! THEY NEEDED SWAT AND AUXILIARY LIGHTING FOR A PROLONGED ASSAULT DURING THE DARKNESS OF NIGHT FOR SUCH A DANGEROUS AND VIOLENT INDIVIDUAL? CRAP! WOULD IT HAVE BEEN TOO SUSPICIOUS TO JUST SHOOT HIM WHILE INSIDE HIS COMPOUND FENCE, …..WE NEED TO GET HIM TO APPROACH US AT THE PEDESTRIAN GATE….. COME ON OVER AND TALK TO US…….

NO WAY — THIS HOME BOY COULD SEE THAT COMING A MILE OFF. BEAT UP AND DRAGGED TO JAIL FOR CONTEMPT OF COP AND NOT ASKING “HOW HIGH” WHEN ORDERED TO JUMP? WHO IS GOING TO BELIEVE SUCH A VIOLENT INDIVIDUAL WHO NEEDED TO BE UNMERCIFULLY BEAT UP FOR DEMANDING THAT HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS WERE NOT VIOLATED AGAIN BY OVER ZEALOUS WHOM I HAD OBVIOUSLY ANGERED? THANKS JUDGE. YOU GREATLY COMPLICATED MY LIFE FOR NOT WANTING TO HEAR THE TRUTH — FOR A CHANGE.

OCTOBER 4TH 2024 : PREPOSTEROUS!

WITHOUT EVEN BEING IN MY HOME THEY AGAIN COME ARMED AND READY FOR BUSINESS.

PERHAPS A TEAM OF DEPENDABLE SPECIALIZED ANTAGONISTS THAT ANTICIPATED, HELL, EXPECTED ME TO DO JUST WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW – (ALTHOUGH ON A COMPUTER IN THE ONCE PRIVATE CONFINES OF MY OWN HOME) SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF ABOUT UNSCRUPULOUS METHODS FOR SUSPICIOUS CITIZEN CONTACT. YES, NO DOUBT I WOULD HAVE BEEN YELLING AT THEM TO GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.

SO WAS THE OTHER OFFICER THERE AS A WITNESS AS TO WHY THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD TO EVENTUALLY BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF ME IN MY OWN HOME OR MURDER ME BECAUSE I WAS SO UNREASONABLE, UNCONTROLLABLE AND RESISTANT AND JUST COULDN’T ACCEPT THAT THEY WERE ONLY THERE TO MERELY CONFIRM I WAS SAFE, ALIVE AND IN GOOD HEALTH IN THE FORMER PRIVACY OF MY OWN HOME? CRAP, A TELEPHONE CALL COULD HAVE DONE THAT. TALKING WITH NEIGHBORS WOULD HAVE CONFIRMED I OFTEN TAKE EXTENDED TRIPS.

SORRY.

“DOES NOT COMPUTE” FOR THIS HUMAN.

ONLY A FACADE OF SINCERE PUBLIC SERVICE TO CONTINUE WHAT THEY’VE DONE ALL ALONG, HARASS AND PUNISH ME FOR BEING OUTSPOKEN ON THIS WEBSITE AND TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT DISHONEST AND CONSPIRATORIAL LOWLIFE CREEPS (SOME OF THEM) ACTUALLY ARE — ALONG WITH THEIR VARIOUS LDPOA (LAKE DON PEDRO OWNERS ASSOCIATION) AND LDPCSD (LAKE DON PEDRO COMMUNITY SERVICES DISTRICT) ACCOMPLICES. (BOTH CROOKED AS A DOG’S HIND LEG!)

WOLVES IN SHEEPLE CLOTHING!

THESE PEOPLE ARE PUBLIC DESTROYERS, NOT SERVANTS.

That’S it! Need to find a good pair of glasses and bring my blood pressure down FROM THIS

LIVING NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH THEY REFUSE TO ALLOW ME TO EXIT!

Later Lew

Pack Rats tormented us this last desert trip

And often I’ve cursed their name

But after the intrusion into my home

Realize Pack Rats and I are the same

I keep things believed important

Not for now but some future time

And after the invasion of my home

The Good Lord has now shown me why

I had forgotten many of the things

They wrongfully said and had done

But after my therapy Boo Hoo Hoo Hoo

Thought I’d rummage through some boxes for fun

.

.

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I FINALLY FOUND?

Here’s only one small portion of what I was screaming at them 24 years ago when they illegally attempted to enter my property:

“THIS IS AN INVASION OF MY FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHT TO MY PRIVACY. THERE IS NO EXIGENT CIRCUMSTANCES HERE WHAT SO EVER TO REQUIRE THEM TO CUT MY GATE. IT’S A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT. AND NOW THEY’RE POINTING GUNS AT ME.”

Lew Richardson recorded on August 3, 2000 after an escaped control burn was reported and CDF responded wanting to put water on a non existent fire. I told them I would sign a citiation but they were not coming onto my property – which they did not until the sheriff and other ranking officers showed up to see this conflagration that NEVER OCCURRED!

Amazing, they finally accepted what I offered originally, I would sign a citation for burning on a no burn day but they weren’t coming in to put out a fictitious fire. The sheriff told the two instigators to leave the scene.

Here’s a teaser…. at one point (while I’m inside my 6′ chain link fence compound a considerable distance from these “invaders outside the fence”), the Sheriff’s Dispatcher broadcasts:

“I recontacted CDF they stated the weapon is an 8 – 10 inch knife that is strapped to some web gear.”

Actually a 6″ fixed blade Buck gardening knife WHICH NEVER LEFT IT’S SHEATH (which they later reluctantly admitted) and the web gear, are you ready for this one? Was a pair of wide rainbow suspenders like Mork From Ork use to wear on the television series! I kid you not! Still have them actually. (Poor fireman – probably just accustomed to exaggerating the size of some other hose on one of those sleazy telephone dating sites as well – if you catch my drift. lol)

Here’s another one:

“Hi this is Ken with the Sheriff’s department in Mariposa. I have a subject holding my officers off with ahh a knife, his name is Richard Lewis, he has an address out of Merced, do you have any information on him?”

(Crap, they even changed my name! lol At least the name change was appropriate because I feel like a comedian just telling you what those bozos actually did! lol)

“What’s the status of the fire? (long pause)no active flame, and there are a couple of spots smoking however….”

LONG PAUSE AS HE TRIED TO MUSTER THE COURAGE TO SAY NO ACTIVE FLAME! GOOD GOD! Can’t wait to find my video tape so I can show viewers that it was absolutely nothing! A simple campfire, but yes I should not have put dry weeds on (my bad), but it was out before they even got there, I could hear that engine coming up and down the hills for miles. And the smoldering> – hardly more than a cigar burning in an ashtray (bet even “short hose” could have pissed it out! lol) All in the middle of a weed cleared area where I was to eventually build the house, a house they would 24 years later, illegally enter to “look around” to make sure I was safe and I wasn’t even home. (Humm, reasonable circumstances for a warrant less entry? Probably less than a handful of people have been in my house over the last few years. What made them think I was inside the house when they arrived? My dog, truck, and trailer were gone and those assholes could see that fact from outside the fence!

Wonder what they would have done if that alarm hadn’t scared the shit out of them?

Hey…. that might make for some interesting nice short videos of how and what they did when illegally on my property and inside my house looking for someone who obviously wasn’t there. And that’s another troubling fact, surely they observed some of the cameras (not all of course), but they were clearly on notice….. but I don’t think they counted on another system with an audible alarm. Think it rattled them a bit because they both quickly exited the garage and regrouped outside before realizing the Genie was already out of the bottle and there was no turning back after the forced entry through my chain link fence. In for a dime in for a dollar. Hummm, did I have a microphone out there also? lol Scumbag cheats.

Back then I had prepared my own case with tons of information, the video, transcripts and photographs, but the very crucial piece was what these “public servant frauds” were saying on the radio. Making up stories to “pump up the other responding units”. He’s got a knife! No he has a pistol! No he has a semi automatic rifle …. close all the streets in the vicinity! I’m serious, they did.

But I made a major mistake, I requested a copy of the sheriff’s tape from the District Attorney’s Office and was surprised how easily they provided one, until that is, when we got to court and the Judge said it wasn’t certified and couldn’t be used as evidence and would not give me more time to obtain one! (Bet they’ve been laughing about that for the last 24 years while I have struggled because of what they did and who they are……fucking liars without honor. Guess that judge wasn’t too interested in the truth either, he could have easily given me a continuance to get a certified copy, but hey, the County of Mariposa just wanted to bury what they had done to me with impunity.

They got away with the whole fucking lie and coverup. (Just like the LDPCSD changing some of the highest quality water available in California and turning it into a Frankenstein mixture with inferior groundwater. Notice the staining in sinks and tubs that wasn’t there before? Me too. Thank good old Kampa and his YES BOARD OF DEFECTORS for destroying the best quality water one could have ever hoped for in a drought prone area. Get use to the rate increases, they’re required for all that FREE MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT….lol, and you believed it!) False reports, false information, forcible entry onto my property without a warrant AND NO EXIGENT CIRCUMSTANCE TO JUSTIFY THE ENTRY OR THEIR ASSAULTING ME. I stood up to those pricks and will do it again, this is so incredibly wrong.

Everything they did illegally, they got away with – which obviously only emboldens them to do the same to some other poor person that gets angry with what they’re doing and gets “thumped” for interfering with an officer in the performance of his duty. Bullshit. It’s spelled official “dootie” because these fabricators are pieces of, and full of, SHIT! What was that recent lame? Oh yeah, SWS4B Skull Wrapped Shit 4 Brains – lol

Hell, even a former neighbor who worked for the Tuolumne County DAs office (along with his dishonest lying bitch wife the office help for the LDPOA) falsely reported to Mariposa that I had a semi automatic rifle on my property and he wanted my guns taken from me because he was afraid I would hurt him some how because I knew he was the primary instigator of the mess. (Precisely why I am against these “RED FLAG LAWS”. Typical bullshit, he starts this whole deal with a FALSE REPORT OF AN ESCAPED FIRE on my property through the California Department of Forestry (now CAL FIRE) so he wouldn’t be identified through SO dispatch, but was afraid I’d act like those very same jerks. What a bunch of cowardly duplicitous pricks.

Anyway, I have much reading to do. Found some other interesting information that will also assist in documenting how these lying fother muckers can ruin someone’s life with lies to cover their asses for abuse of discretionary authority as a firefighter/peace officer with impunity. This is very, very ugly business and as taxpayers we pay the bills so they can deny us our rights even further? Insanity.

TRUMP & VANCE! TRUMP & VANCE TRUMP & VANCE

And all of this was tied into what they did to me at the LDPOA election meeting when I video taped their fraud of an election. What a scam – illegally changing the governing documents quorum percentage so their people could be elected board members and hi-jack our association. Absolute dishonesty and fraud.

Here’s what my knee looked like the night of CDF’s cluster fuck party. Do you think I wanted to be any where near those assholes or to dance with them? Dear Lord that was a painful night.

After repeatedly screaming about what they were and how they could not legally enter my property, (then later being observed as the jackasses they were by other responding higher ranking officers) …. what chance do think I would have had coming out of that with far worse injuries? “Well, he looked like he might become violent so we hit him in the right knee to calm him down so we wouldn’t have to shoot and kill him.” lol

Yup, those lying sock cuckers!

Well, I’m tired and although probably won’t be sleeping much again, I might try some more reading. I must confess, it is often quite difficult and emotionally taxing (I actually forgot much of what those scum bags disguised as firemen actually did to me and my life, and of course Mariposa Sheriff’s deputies just blindly backed them up believing their lies – but some of them also had there own preconceived and/or incorrect ideas of the facts. Quite hurtful actually and something I’ll never forget.).

Want to hear something funny? When they heard the media was in route from Fresno, they had me quickly sign a citation for burning on a no burn day, packed up the whole fucking circus of fire trucks, CHP and Sheriff units, cancelled their SWAT version, and the outdoor lighting coming, etc. and quietly drove away leaving me traumatized, in severe pain but still camping on my own property and NOT ONE FUCKING DROP OF THEIR BULLSHIT WATER SCAM TOUCHED MY PROPERTY, because there was no reason for it other than cost me a bunch of money for nothing — as everyone there with a functioning brain could see.

Just remembered something else…..a VISITING JUDGE heard my case and fined me $147 (I think, it was $147, not sure yet) but guess what? I believe even that judge could see though the bullshit and did not make the standard one year probation as a condition of my sentence. Maybe he realized I had suffered far too much already and probation might lead to more unwanted and dangerous sheriff harassment? I don’t know but sure did appreciated his understanding of the situation. Just before his order he asked if I had anything to say…..I smiled and quickly, and loudly, slapped the palm of my right hand over my mouth, the judge chuckled and made his decision.

Imagine how many people’s lives have been irrevocably ruined or even taken by such dishonorable fother muckers pretending to be honest public servants who escape justice. No wonder this country is in the shape that it is. SHEEPLE IN UNIFORMS AS WELL? Example: “Hey you Deputy FuckinOff, I want you to count and shoot every third person that comes out that door”- “Yes SIR right away sir ….. “one”, POW!, oops, I’ll try again, “One, tw (POW!), dang it!”, …….. “one…three”, POW! “three” POW, crap! POW….” gosh darn it….. POW….. etc. etc. etc.

This is starting to look more like a book – always thought I’d write one about the LDPOA and LDPCSD, but this would dovetail perfectly into such organized criminal activity. Yup, found much information. And the video? Haven’t found it yet but it’s coming back to me now – those lying assholes. Wonder if either of the two deputies who forcibly entered my property October 4th (this month) and later set off my intrusion alarm inside the house (WITHOUT EVER FUCKING TELLING ME WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DID except a few words on a business card stuck on the main gate where any porch pirate would understand my fence was unsecured — while I was out of state!) were involved or related somehow to those involved 24 years ago with what very clearly could have been the end of me – all because of those lying jerk wads broadcasting patently FALSE INFORMATION in and effort to blur what they were actually doing and get others responding involved catching this threat to law enforcement! Here comes that vomit again.

Just like those poor folks you read about startled by cops suddenly in their houses and become (allegedly) so out of control the cops had no choice but to kill them to protect themselves. AND THESE VICTIMS WERE NOT CRIMINALS, JUST PEOPLE WHO WERE SUBJECT TO A FOOLISH COMMUNITY CARE DOCTRINE THAT PERMITTED THE COPS TO LEGALLY ENTER YOUR HOME JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU WERE ALRIGHT! (Naturally if they found heroin or something else illegal in the house, that’s a bonus, because now they could thump you for resisting arrest. BS.)

Guess what though, apparently the US Supreme Court had put a stop to this insane aspect of the doctrine in 2023 and now (like for regular crimes where a warrant is needed) requires exigent circumstances (serious emergency conditions that a reasonable person would think the circumstances warranted) circumvention of your FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS! (save a life; stop serious crime; stop destruction of evidence, etc.)

Examples:

1. Cops arrive to check on granny but there are more flies behind the window glass than outside along with the horrid stench of a decomposing body. “ding ding ding ding ding….. our studio audience agrees – force entry to check on what’s left of granny.”
2. COPs arrive to check on Billy, they announce themselves, Billy comes to the door but does not want to talk with them. He’s not intoxicated, appears in good condition, but a bit angry and told the officer to get the fuck off his property because “I don’t need any assistance”. The officer gets mad at this disrespectful behavior opens the door and steps in…. OOPS! The wellness check was over, there was no reason to enter the house without exigent circumstances to believe something was wrong. Ahhhhh, but there was something wrong, the officer was abusing his discretionary authority by entering Billy’s house without reasonable cause.

Done for now, but will soon have more (unless attacked by the sheriff’s office for the third time because they only want to stop by to ascertain that I am OK.) How absurd is that? I want to vomit.

Yikes, just looked at some of the above, my language got pretty rough. But you know, I really don’t give a fucking rat’s ass at this point. This is all so wrong and there is no accountability. They’re not going to get away with it this time…..again!

THAT PREVIOUS COMMUNITY CARE DOCTRINE INTERPRETATION, WAS IN THEORY, A “FUCK THE FOURTH AMENDMENT” LICENSE THAT COULD BE USED BY DISHONEST COPS TO LEGALLY beat up, arrest, or even ASSASSINATE PROBLEM OUTSPOKEN CITIZENS. Not to mention planting evidence, bugging their home, etc.. Coming into your home against your wishes, but if you speak up and protest you could end up in the hospital or worse, because after all, they are from the government and are only there to assist you. What could possibly go wrong? hummmm Absolutely diabolical.

.

My best to you and yours, Lew

But for you “responsible parties” (and you know exactly who you are) you can kiss my skinny white ass and go straight to fucking hell you low life, unethical, immoral, evil imposters!

Phew! Better get some sleep sometime soon……yeah?

Heart pounding like a big bass drum, spinning thoughts in deep gray matter, how can government get away with this, never mind – just look at our borders!

TRUMP AND VANCE!

Been here before and know what to expect

Much easier than first time when I thought heart attack

As long as I’m in my “safe place” and can cry privately

The pain will flow out through reflection, of whatever is bothering me

This home sure was my castle where the majority of my life spent

But just like Castle AFB fear it’s duty time now spent

Claim they were here to assist me but showed it in a peculiar way

And when I think of all you’ve done to me – I honestly don’t know what to say.

(but sure as hell will keep trying to find the right fucking words).

.

Otherwise,

My best to you and yours, Lew

(aka: Don’t panic, we’re from the government and here to help.)

Calculated or unintended, injury is the same
Might not be discernible it’s camouflaged, restrained, but raw
38 years inside me I’ve nursed this injured child
Birthed through evil motives, by those who violated law

We live and work secluded
With the trappings of success and pride
But the normal course of life not possible
With this suffering child inside

I’ve known a few who self eliminated
While oscillating between “no biggie” and a disaster
But we decided very long ago
Not an option – we, would be our own master*

And carry on for as long as possible
And do the best we can
Then God Blessed us with the discovery
Of a high desert alluvial fan

Continued on this revisited cycle
Of peace then utter despair
Tranquility destroyed with compete disregard
For how we ended here

In the only place of safety/comfort
For like many, is our home
But now that too they’ve compromised
With the disrespect they’ve shown

A warrant-less search for a Welfare Check?
Forced entry later set off alarm?
But we were not even here
They pretend there was no harm

Apparently we’re not deserving
Of the privacy most others enjoy
Sometimes I laugh through the disbelief
But lurking below quite annoyed

No timely answers to questions
Only elevated suspicion to distrust
Just their side important for reports
As a victim my expression a must

Obviously not my first rodeo
So round and round we go
While facts are blurred with disinformation
Guaranteeing citizens know

Only what they tell us
Of course in their best light
Why bother with the little stuff
Like they started yet another fight

Did you know a significant number of people
Are actually killed in their own homes?
Because someone desired a Welfare Check
Instead of leaving the self-secluded alone

The traumatized child cries “it’s unfair”
“Cruel and illegal” it screams
And once again I sooth it’s distress
With plans for our high desert dream

To escape such Cali-fusion
Where a wellness check could bring death
Best intentions are no substitute
When best practice replaced with a guess

For three and a half years I have worked very hard
In order to develop a new place
Where we could finish what’s left of our life
But again someone spits in our face

The part that really fries our ass
The denial and feigned ignorance
How could such dangerous activity
Lack such common sense?

We’re in a real dark place right now
But it’s familiar and know how to cope
The ups and downs of processing facts
A solution that works – not just hope

Remember Robbie the Robot?
And his famous “this does not compute”
Well, same thing here but with real flesh and blood
Perhaps later – my best to you, Lew

• Naturally with God’s Blessings, strength and comfort

someone seriously hurt you again

Is it still OK to privately cry?

With gasping breaths, snotty nose

Tear swollen bloodshot eyes?

Or just suck it up and learn to be

Harder and meaner than your enemy?

Then take delight in another’s “but why?”

Because you can make a grown man cry.

My best to you and yours, Lew

PS: Just asking, because, you know, I might know somebody. 😉

Propensity for finding answers

To painful puzzles never wanted

But they snapped right through my best defense

Leaving gray matter, once again, quite haunted.

MBTY&Y, Lew