“And it is a beautiful day for a race folks, temperature is 82 degrees Fahrenheit, soft wind for the Northeast, partially cloudy skies, absolutely beautiful, contestants appear to be ready……final start check by officials – there’s the start! Look at those animals go! All have left their gates and are headed down track…..wait a minute……wait……”Cowboy’s Nightmare” has stalled outside the gate…..more like a chute from my vantage point if you ask me….what is this? A race or a rodeo? Look at that animal buck, jump and kick! Doesn’t seem green broke!
Meanwhile on the track, the animals are closely packed and rounding the first quarter mark, no definitive leader to call right now.
GOOD HEAVENS! “Cowboy’s Nightmare” has jumped the track fence and is bucking out of control in center track field – look at the sod fly!
Wait, something is happening on the far side of the track…..one of the contestants appears to have dropped back from the group and is cantering behind – now a trot, coming around to the first lap the pack is still tight. “Fillies’ Folly” noses past “Rustler’s Sidekick” but there is no clear leader — every time one animal makes headway it seems to fall back thus allowing the others to catch up. Now it’s “Rustler’s Sidekick” and “Fillies’ Folly” – “Fillies’ Folly” and “Rustler’s Sidekick”, impossible to tell who’s actually in the lead.
Still lagging behind the pack is “Russian Pride” relaxingly trotting across the finish line as one of the officially declared winners of this race. Coming around the first quarter turn track veteran “The Colonel” and “Just Concerned”, a newcomer to this race, appear neck and neck but pulling away from the others. “Just Concerned” inches out from “The Colonel”, now “The Colonel” breaks ahead of “Just Concerned”……
WHOA! “Cowboy’s Nightmare” has apparently broken a water line center field and a 30 foot geyser of water is soaking the area – – -look at that water! Looks like a manmade lake out there. Sod is being thrashed into slimey mud with the continuing antics of “Cowboy’s Nightmare”….what the heck is going on down there?
Look at that animal slipe and slide! Now side stepping again and vigorously shaking it’s head from side to side, another countered side step, OH MY! “Cowboy’s Nightmare” is smashing through one of the track officials’ tents, look at those poor people run! Track and race officials, VIPS, even field maintenance personnel are scrambling to get out of the way of that out of control animal. I sure hope no one is seriously injured.
Back on the track, there still is no obvious leader between “The Colonel” and “Just Concerned” but they appear to be leading the rest of the pack. Hold on! Just receiving some information….. due to regulations of this year’s MEAT GRINDER 500 DERBY there may be some other contestants entering on the track very soon! Stay tuned to KLCR for more updates and keep a sharp eye for late contestants joining this race.
“Cowboy’s Nightmare” seems to have calmed down a bit and is snorting and prancing around in circles center field. Right turn, left turn, right turn…..WHOA! It’s suddenly loping off to the north, and kicking wildly again, something has obviously spooked this unrestrained animal again — it’s going crazy, look at that animal go! It’s kicking barrels, markers and track equipment everywhere—look at those people run! Poor souls. Seems some sort of a Bronco Mustang was entered in a track race. What is happening down there? More on this race as information becomes available.”
MBTYAY,L 😉
