Sure is a beautiful “Springy morning”.  MUST GET OUT THERE TODAY!  Still find it difficult to believe how fast everything is growing.  Oak trees leafing out, fruit trees budding and flowering, the sound of bees buzzing about, and the aroma…..ahhhh, Spring.

ANYWAY, I was contemplating some of the peculiar, and tragic, Lake Don Pedro Community Services District (LDPCSD) history when a line from an old Frank Zappa song flashed in my rapidly diminishing recall goo of grey matter sparkling with electrical impulses: 

“You can stab ‘n’ shoot ‘n’ spit but they won’t be fixn’ it”

I remember purchasing my first Frank Zappa album:  THE MOTHERS:OVER-NITE SENSATION in 1973 at the Navy Exchange in Taichung Taiwan.  I was 17-18 years old (oh my Lord I’m getting old – I AM OLD! <sigh>) flipping through the display of albums.  Hey, those were the days huh?  Full size artwork, photographs and information on the album covers inside and out.  Double albums were always special.

ANYWAY, I was pretty young flipping through records when I saw this album cover.  I had never seen anything like it in my life.  I was totally shocked by the strange and (what appeared to be) sexually explicit graphic artwork (which I later discovered was “imagery” from song lyrics).   I was actually embarrassed about checking this “thing” out in public so naturally I bought the album and rushed home to study every aspect of the visual information while listening to the music.  (Hey, I was young – you remember young too eh?)

As “sensational” as the cover graphics were, the music also exploded nerve synapses in my brain. Very, very strange and different musical compositions, lyrics and presentations.  Quite thought provoking on a number of levels and truly entertaining so I started collecting more of this Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention.

[Joe’s Garage, Act I/Joe’s Garage Acts II & III/Tinseltown Rebellion/London Symphony Orchestra Zappa Vol I/Studio Tan/Jazz From Hell/Them or Us/You Are What You Is and of course,

Frank Zappa meets The Mothers of Prevention (This was during the mandatory labeling of obscene material not for minors…..Guess I was a perfect example of that huh?  OK….maybe I was 18 years old then?  LOL)

Think I might have some other degraded tapes and scattered CDs as well.

Friday, March 4, 2016:  I knew it!  Found two other albums:




below: ZAPPA-“Ship arriving too late to save a drowning witch” (might have to include a cover shot of that album) this was the one that had “Valley Girl” vocals performed by his daughter Moon Zappa.



BELOW, is an excellent YouTube audio presentation of FLAKES.   There is no video except for rolling photos of the album cover and lyrics by the original presenter.   I added a few of my own album photos next to the lyrics I typed out so reading might be a little easier when listening to the music.

(The Bob Dylan impersonation is fantastic!)

OK, here we go, FLAKES from the SHEIK YERBOUTI album by the late great Frank Zappa and The Mothers.

[CLICK OR PRESS THE “RIGHT ARROW” TO LISTEN – and I’ll see you back here later]

Flakes lyrics


Lead vocals: Zappa & Belew
Basic track recorded live at the
Odeon Hammersmith, London over-dubs: lots

Flakes! Flakes!


They don’t do no good

They never be workin’

When they oughta should
They waste your time
They’re wastin’ mine
California’s got the most of them
Boy, they got a host of them

Frank Zappa Flakes II


Swear t’God they got the most
At every business on the coast
Swear t’God they got the most
At every business on the coast
They got the Flakes


Flakes! Flakes!

They can’t fix yer brakes
You ask ‘em, “Where’s my motor?”
“Well, it was eaten by snakes
You can stab ‘n’ shoot ‘n’ spit
But they won’t be fixin’ it
They’re lyin’ an’ lazy
They can be drivin’ you crazy
Swear t’God they got the most
At every business on the coast
(Take it away, Bob…]


I asked as nice as I could
If my job would
Somehow be finished by Friday
Well, the whole damn weekend
Came ‘n’ went, Frankie
[Wanna buy some mandies, Bob?] ‘N’ they didn’t do nothin’
But they charged me double for Sunday
You know, no matter what you do,
They gonna cheat ‘n’ rob you
Then they’ll send you a bill
That’ll get your senses rellin’
And if you do not pay
They got computer collectors
That’ll get you so crazy
“Til your head’ll go through the’ ceilin’
Yes it will!


I’m a moron, ‘n’ this is my wife
She’s frosting a cake
With a paper knife
All what we got here’s
American made
It’s a little bit cheesey,
But it’s nicely displayed
Well we don’t get excited when it
Crumbles ‘n’ breaks
We just get on the phone
And call up some Flakes
They rush on over
‘N’ wreck it some more
‘N’ we are so dumb
They’re linin’ up at our door


Well, the toilet went crazy
Yesterday afternoon
The plumber he says,
“Never flush a tampoon!”
This great information
Cost me half a week’s pay
And the toilet blew up
Later on the next day-ay-eee-ay
Blew up the next day
WOO-OOO    Frank Zappa Flakes II


We are million ‘n’ millions
We’re coming to get you
We’re protected by unions
So don’t let it upset you
Can’t escape the conclusion
It’s probably God’s Will
That civilization
Will grind to a standstill
And we are the people
Who will make it all happen
While yer children is sleepin’
Yer puppy is crappin’
You might call us Flakes
Or something else you might coin us
But we know you’re so greedy
That you’ll probably join us


We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you
We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you
We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you
We’re comin’ to get you, we’re comin’ to get you


LEW HERE…..remember that commercial?   lol!     “frosting a cake with a paper knife”