1) “Birds of a feather flock together?” 2) “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?” 3) “Killing two birds with one stone?” 4) “Bye bye Birdie?” 5) “Old time feathers belong on old time birds?” 6) “A modern “feather duster” is most often made of synthetic materials only designed and manufactured to resemble authentic bird feathers whose actual possession and use in specific products may or may not be illegal in some jurisdictions.” Am I getting warm or cold?
Ever hear the one about the guy arrested by a Fish and Wild Life Officer for killing and consuming an American Bald Eagle, which of course is illegal, and whose case was going to be heard by a staunch Wild Life Supporting Superior Court Judge who traditionally handed down extremely harsh sentences in cases involving this Federally Protected National Bird of Prey?
Well, the defendant explained to the Judge that he was from the city and unfamiliar with the realities of outdoor life and his car had broken down in the forested mountains where he ultimately became lost trying to hike back out. He had been in the woods for days without any food and only minimal water he drank from small creek ponds. Very hungry and on the verge of collapse he observed a large eagle fly to and perch in the fork of a tall Pine tree branch. The Eagle had a large Salmon in it’s talons which it had apparently scooped up from some nearby water source and had just begun to tear at it for nourishment. It was then when the idea first occurred to him of stealing the fish from the bird. If he could throw a rock high enough into the tree to frighten the Eagle, it might drop the fish so the man could eat, survive, and eventually make his way out of the forest. The judge listened intently to the man’s story and was initially very suspicious and told the man so, but continued to listen to the detailed story. The man continued by saying when he threw the rock (only to scare the Eagle and force it to drop the fish) the rock unfortunately hit the bird right smack in the head knocking it to the ground and killing it, while the actual prize he was after (the Salmon) became stuck too high in the tree branch to be obtained and consumed. Since the Salmon was stuck up in the tree and too difficult to obtain and the Eagle was already on the ground and dead, the man decided to eat what he could of the Eagle for survival sustenance in hopes of eventually finding his way out of the forest. He explained he had just finished plucking most of the feathers off the bird and had started to chew at the legs and some breast meat when the Fish and WIld Life Officer suddenly entered the clearing where the man was observed hunched over the remains of the protected Eagle. While placing the man under arrest the officer explained the Judge who would ultimately hear the case was an environmentalist who dealt quite harshly with those violating protective species statutes and the man should be very careful in presenting any offered defense. During court, and after the defendant had finished presenting his defense, the judge called a recess for lunch stating he would render a decision after consideration of all the facts after the break. After lunch the defendant sat nervously waiting for the judge’s decision. The judge confirmed he loved nature and would have thrown the book at the man for such a despicable act as eating the protected National Bird, but considering the “city slickers” emergency situation of being without food for days, along with the fact the eagle had been accidentally killed in the failed attempt to obtain the Salmon for food, the Judge dismissed the charges and released the man without further delay. The man thanked the Judge for his understanding and compassion in the matter and happily proceeded to leave the court when the Judge asked the man, out of his own burning curiosity, “what in the world does an American Bald Eagle taste like anyway?” The man, while rounding the corner of the courtroom doors on his way out, smiled and said, “Hard to say your Honor, kind of a cross between a Spotted Owl and California Condor.”
But I digress.
